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SPACE CORPSE;
Or, Shoot My Dead Body Out of the Solar System, Please
by Graham Arthur Mackenzie

Help me rocket my corpse free from the gravitational bonds of the Sun after my death!

2020 Update! Since writing the below a couple of years ago, I have realized the following:
- I am likely going to have to raise the $$$ for this project on my own
- I am likely going to have to be put into cryogenic sleep for this journey

Please read on for the previous version of this page, and thanks for checking out Space Corpse!
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I love space. I love space travel. I love the idea of my dead body - instead of mouldering and turning to dust in the ground here on our home planet of Earth - rocketing to the farthest edge of our galaxy, and (most likely) orbiting it until the literal end of time.

And now, with the arrival of companies such as Blue Origin and SpaceX (Hi, Jeff! Hi, Elon! : ), my dream of one day getting literally as far away from all of you as humanly possible is finally a reality.

I've been talking with a friend in the industry "whom knows about this stuff", and they have said that, despite the non-negligible plausibility of my goal, because reasons*, the cost of this enterprise is impossible to project. However, the most recent craft to achieve solar escape velocity (New Horizons, 2006) cost $153 million to launch. Hopefully, I won't need to be taking this step for at least 20 more years or so (it is currently 2018), by which point I'm guesstimating it will be an order of magnitude or so cheaper; hence my mental fundraising goal of $10,000,000. This is a sum that I obviously could never achieve on my own / without your help, so thank you!

I'm still figuring out what the legal / financial / logistical mechanism(s) to make all this happen after my death are going to look like, ha... But, essentially, I need a contract in place (which can legally be executed post mortem) with a private space travel company (such as Blue Origin or SpaceX) to, upon my death, build and launch some sort of rocket that will get my mortal coil free of the gravity of our Sun. After that, my space coffin (essentially) will carry my soul case to the edge of the Milky Way. Getting my craft to escape our galaxy's gravity is probably out of the question (but things might be different by the time I die.)

The other piece is that I need to have another contract in place with some sort of crack team that will be legally willing & able to retrieve from - potentially - anywhere on Earth, secure, and deliver my dead body to the contracted space flight company.
In order for the crack team to do their job, I’ll have to get a short, clear set of instructions tattooed in some unmissable (by medical professionals) place on my body explaining what to do with it (and, more importantly, what NOT to do with it) in the event of my death.

I will need another contract with a tattoo artist, or perhaps a small group of them, who will be legally able & willing to tattoo my dead body. I should hope the best group of tattoo artists then available, representing all parts of the globe and all traditions in the art form, could comprise those chosen, as the canvas of my skin will be the one representation of that art form to leave our Solar System.

Oh, and my friend "whom knows about this stuff" also mentioned I should probably have myself freeze dried in order to cut down on weight (as lbs = £s), so I’ll need yet another contract with someone(s) legally able & willing to do that to me, lol.. (Unless, of course, the consensus on the part of experts is that it would be better, for whatever reason, that my remains should be preserved undessicated.)

Another expense is going to be all the lawyer hours behind setting up the above… Hm, I’m starting to think I should be asking for /much/ more than $10 million. *crying laughing emoji*

Luckily, because these funds are going to go into some sort of trust that won’t (except for the attorney hours) be invoked until my death, we have (Inshallah!) some time for compound interest to do its thing. *smiling sunglasses emoji*

In regards to the obvious question of “Why on Earth are you doing this?!”, the truest, fullest answer is long and complex, but a lot of the main reasons are:
- Why not do something cool, fun, & outrageous with my cadaver / death? I only get one of each!  : D
- I love Science.
- What better tribute could there be to the defining attribute of Humanity (namely, our ability to reason), and what the application of such has been able to create for and by us (namely, Physics, and thereby, space travel), than getting a complete example of one of us out into the larger Universe, far, far beyond our home planet (not to mention the existence of any trace of our entire species / civilization, should we fail to survive long enough to colonize other parts of space)?
- I am ridiculous and love attention.  : )
- Being buried or cremated, or set adrift on a wooden pyre which is then ignited from the shore with flaming arrows, or left in the woods to rot or be eaten all sound so passé… I mean, everything on Earth has been SO done already!
- Hopefully, some alien species will find me at some point far in the future, and their minds will be blown.  : P
- I’ve always wanted to get a tattoo.
- Because it’s there.
- Because we can.
- Because no one else has thought of it yet (at least, out loud and that I’m aware of : ), and likely very, very few of us would want to do it / have it done to their carcass.)
- I was hoping to also get some updated version of the Arecibo message / the Voyager Golden Records tattooed onto my body; I’m actually suuuper stoked about what we could collectively come up with along those lines these days… *smirking emoji* *rocket emoji* *Starman emoji*
- Is this enough reasons yet for you to realize that I’m being totally serious about this, World?!… : )

Thanks again, everyone, for checking out my page, and taking it and me and this dream of mine seriously, and for giving me your support of love, encouragement, sharing with others, and (hopefully) financial backing of any amount! (Everything counts, and we’ll only do this with the help of many, many of us working together.  : )

Thanks Again,
With Love & In All Sincerity,
Graham Arthur Mackenzie

(click here to learn all about me : )

ps, If any corporations out there want to foot the bill for this entire project, we can put just one big tattoo of your company's logo on my body instead of one each from my independent backers. Just imagine! Your company's brand, orbiting our galaxy until the end of time! Surely that's worth $10 million?  : D

pps, If the above happens, I'm going to use whatever funds I raise on my own to take a trip to space while I'm still living.

ppps, Yes, I'm being 100% completely serious.

* Videlicet, the novelty of the proposition, the paucity of relevant data points, the custom nature of my vehicle, the lack of other participants who might potentially lower costs, and the un-straightforward nature of delta-v, inter alia.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: Are you being serious?
A: Yes, I'm being 100% completely serious.

Q: Are you absolutely bonkers, or just completely barking mad?
A: I don’t think I am, but I can see why you would.

Q: What is your project’s nickname / working title?
A: Space Corpse (codename: Space Ghost)

Q: Percentage of $10,000,000 raised so far?
A: 0.0000036

Press

11/15/18: Radio Parallax (starts at 4:20 ; )

11/01/18: Sacramento News & Review